S5 E28 - You Don't Love Me Anymore

"You don't love me anymore" - these were the words of our soon to be 3 year old to her mother and me. Why? Because we told her that she had to eat her dinner. We had to laugh - kids can be so dramatic. The rules are there because we love you, kiddo. 

We're not all that different as the children of God. Sometimes we doubt God's love, because we don't get what we want, or because he restricts us in what we do. However, that is the very proof of God's love, becuase he discliplines and instructs us like a Father. 

#SetYourMindAbovePodcast

Transcript

What if I told you that God could be seen in the most ordinary things every day? 

What if I told you that every day, ordinary events could teach us extraordinary eternal truths? Would you believe me? 

 Welcome back to season 5 of the Set Your Mind Above Podcast! My name is BJ Sipe, and I am a Christian, a preacher, a husband, and a father. And I’m excited to share a few moments together with you learning some important lessons from the simplest things. Let’s grow together! 

Kids are so funny when it comes to food, and in more ways than one. First, there is the flip-flopper. One day, kids will absolutely love something and beg for more of it. Then, the very next day, they will be repulsed by the sight of what they claimed to be their all-time favorite food the day before. Then there is the packrat. It’s the kid who stuffs his cheeks full of food, and then without your knowledge gets down to go play. Then, 15 minutes later, you’re horrified to discover the same food still tucked away in the sides of their mouth. Or, one of my personal favorites is the cow. Like cattle chewing the cud, that’s the toddler that refuses to swallow, and continues to chew the same bite for food for what seems like an eternity.  Having three small children of our own, we have witnessed each of these “food personalities” on multiple occasions in each of our children. However, this past week, we were given a new one that both gave us a chuckle as well as gave us this week’s podcast. 

Recently, Finley has been playing another personality: the one in fasting. No matter what we have made, no matter what motivation we have used, getting her to each much of anything has been a great challenge. We don’t always expect our children to completely clear their plates, but they have to eat enough to be able to function and not be miserable. We also do not cater to their food demands – i.e. they don’t get to decide (normally) what they have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. In our home, the rule is that Mom works hard on giving us healthy and well-rounded meals, and therefore we will eat what is placed in front of us with gratitude and appreciation. Well, as I already stated, it hasn’t mattered what we’ve given Finley this past week – there were several days in a row where getting her to eat anything was like pulling teeth. Multiple times she would sit at the table long after her brother and sister were excused to finish what we told her she had to finish before she could be done. On one particular evening, she sat there asking for the 10th time if she could be done after having eaten nothing. Kylie responded and said, “No sweetie, you’ve got to finish those 5 bites I set aside, and then you can be done.” She proceeded to give the saddest face you’ve ever seen, hung her head, and whimpered under her breath, “You don’t love me anymore.” The self-control it took Kylie and I to keep from laughing was great. Kylie walked over and gently reassured her, “Finley, you know that we love you. It’s because we love you that we have the rules that we do. We know what is best for you. Now, let’s listen and obey so that we can move forward.” 

We might laugh at such a cute story, and I’m sure that many of you might have similar stories with your own kiddos – but if we’re being brutally honest, we are not all that much different as the children of God. We struggle sometimes to understand God’s love, especially when you consider we have been molded by a culture that has taught us “if you love me, you’ll give me what I want.” Isn’t that exactly what we see in our culture? We see it in advertisements – from Burger King’s “Have It Your Way” to cruise lines claiming that “you deserve a vacation”. We see it in harmful philosophies and worldviews, claiming, “If you love me, you’ll affirm my harmful behaviors and ideologies.” This has become ever so prevalent in our relative, postmodern society. Like toddlers throwing a fit over not getting what they want, we live in a society that will cry out “you hate me” if you don’t give them exactly what they want. Unfortunately, this is the framework in which many have been trained to view God. That “If God really loves you, he’ll give you everything your heart desires.” My friends, such a principle is not found anywhere in the pages of Scripture. 

Here are some things we do find, however. Let’s examine Proverbs 3:11-12 to begin. We read, “Do not despise the Lord’s instruction, my son, and do not loathe his discipline; for the Lord disciplines the one he loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights.” It is not without reason that God likens his relationship with us to a Father and his children. While, like toddlers, God’s discipline might not always feel like love – that does not change the fact that it is in fact the actions of a loving Father to correct us and instruct us as God does. A loving father does not tell his children “yes” to every request, because many of their requests are harmful and not helpful. Children do not know any better, but mature parents do. This is exactly what we read from the book of Hebrews 12:7-10, “Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline—which all receive—then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had human fathers discipline us, and we respected them. Shouldn’t we submit even more to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but he does it for our benefit, so that we can share his holiness.” The very fact that God does not give us everything our heart desires, but rather disciplines and instructs us, is the very proof of his love. We are man, and he is God. He truly knows, and wants, what is in our best interest. 

Unfortunately, sometimes we have to learn this lesson the hard way, don’t we? Our toddlers do sometimes, right? We tell them no and instruct them for their good. If they refuse to listen and insist on their own way, they will end up reaping the consequences of their actions. Sometimes a kid has to go hungry for a little while to learn the wisdom and love behind the words, “You need to eat your dinner.” Sometimes a kid has to get up and drudge through school while exhausted to learn the wisdom and love behind the words, “It’s bedtime and you need to go to sleep.” In the same way, sometimes we have to reap the consequences of our own actions in order to finally understand the wisdom and the love of God. When the Lord appeared to Saul (who would later be known as Paul) on the road to Damascus, he asked of him, “‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’” (Acts 26:14) Paul vainly fought against God and his will through Christ, and it caused great hardship for himself and others. We’re not unlike Paul. Sometimes we will have self-inflicting wounds brought on by our insistence upon our own will instead of God’s. Hopefully, when that happens, instead of doubling down and hardening our hearts, we will be willing to turn and see the love & wisdom of God, and how His way is always the best way. May we strive ever more to not trust in our own heart, our own wisdom, or our own desires – but strive to remember that it is precisely because God loves us that he has instructed us in the way we should go. 

This has been the Set Your Mind Above Podcast, season 5 episode 28 – and I’m so thankful that we had this time to grow together! A new episode is dropped every Friday, so be sure to tune in next week.  Also, if you’re able to, go ahead and like and subscribe to the podcast, give us a good rating or most importantly share it with someone else – it would help to reach others that I never could alone.  And more than anything, always remember the following: know that I love you, that God loves you, and may we all each and every day set our minds above.